October 25, 2019

Inclusivity and the Myopia of Internet Enlightenment

I was a fairly enthusiastic member of the Crossdream Life forum. It was helpful for a bit to learn from others and occasionally have some wisdom thrown my way.

So here we have a forum with (optically) inclusivity as its cornerstone.

Wonderful, so for a confused male who thinks he is a woman inside this is perfect. I can “belong” here. Well for a while…

How can people who feel marginalized not be aware that they marginalize others if they express negative opinions on other human topics such as faith and politics? Why the hell would this even be discussed on a forum dedicated to people marginalized by gender issues?

I believe in God and they think it’s stupid – ergo they think I am stupid.

Are we all too enlightened now to engage in mere social conventions like avoiding politics and religion if we are to remain friends? There are other forums to argue about that shit. Go for it. You can spin your wheels on that for your whole life and not move an inch.

I hate the internet. It has made everyone a genius. We are far too comfortable speaking in absolutes.

One person posted that, “It has been proven that it is impossible for an omnipotent being to have created the universe.” Huh? What? Who? When? Citation please. The rest of the world needs to see this news.

I let it slide although the ignorance of the statement bugged me.

A few other comments were made. So cliche, a bunch of people so hurt about their lot in life that God MUST be a lie. Once again the problem of pain….

I don’t blame God for this. I’m not a mistake.

(Note: I agree that A) God stories sound like silly horseshit B) his/her/its self-appointed reps have done much damage and continue to do so. Please consider not throwing out the baby with the bathwater. )

I let the issue go (mostly) but did post that I actually do believe in God and that I understand it sounds like a load of bullshit. Much in the same way that a bunch of men saying they are really women may be a hard sell right?

They couldn’t take the hint.

More posts expressing that God wasn’t real and people who believe are sad and wrong. (Like nobody with a PHD ever believes in God right?)

I wasn’t offended by the idea that the “God concept” sounds like a ridiculous fairy tale. It really DOES sound like that. I was offended by how people who feel marginalized feel justified in marginalizing others.

Gender issues can be a life or death situation for the person experiencing them. My heart would break for them to not feel safe because a bunch of trans people feel so enlightened that their substantial intellect must chime in on an unrelated meta-narrative that we all know can have a big place in people’s lives.

So hating God and ridiculing believers is apparently a prerequisite for any trans person to fit in. Not interested.

I had a wonderful face-to-face conversation with a lovely trans woman this past week.

While speaking she apologized for mentioning her faith in Christ and said, “I’m not trying to convert you”. I told her it wasn’t an issue. I was converted a long time ago. She is one of the most courageous and accomplished people I have ever met….and has a PHD in astrophysics.

How sad for her that she believes in the tooth fairy in the sky.

Maybe we should keep ourselves open to each other for all things – not just cherry pick our common ground.

We should not let our enlightenment in one realm bleed into an all-knowing myopia for all others.

Thanks internet. We are all officially too smart for our own good.

Crossdream Life account deleted. We need to be better or we’ll lose someone who needed us. This is life and death…or did we forget?



  • 1. Forums need to be consumed sparingly and in a highly disciplined fashion. Visit every so often, and don’t get involved in back and forths with members. If you follow those rules then they can be fun to pass a few minutes while you’re eating a sandwich or waiting for a plane. I suggest you join CDL again but with this new protocol.

    2. I personally don’t see how the universe gets to exist without a designer.

    • Thank you for the wise words Felix. I agree. I think I’ll adopt that philosophy in general.

      I do love CDL. I was introduced to it though your site. Some amazing people there for sure.

      Alli xo

  • I am sorry to hear this, Alli. I obviously have to find out how this has become a message you experience as representative of Crossdream Life.

    I normally try to avoid discussing religion over at CDL, as it might cause exactly the kind of incidenses we face here. That being said, my impression is a different from yours. The forum has its share of atheists and agnostics, for sure (and that is OK), but there are also a lot of threads of a spiritual nature.

    I also know a lot of religious transgender people. I am one myself, and has been so for all my life. As I see it, it is not hard to combine a critical view of society with faith.

    I do understand what you are getting at, however. You will find some animosity against religious people among some trans activists.

    Many trans people have been invalidated, harassed and excluded by religious fundamentalists, so it might makes sense for them to think that being religious equals being a transphobe, but that is not true.

    I believe that this antagonism might also be influenced by the fact that some non-religious people have a rather narrow view of what faith and spirituality is.

    Atheists like Dawkins, for instance, seem to think that all religious people are dogmatic, extremist idiots. Since they do not know much about religious thought, they make the most bigoted ones their straw men.

    I know that you will find the same distribution of wisdom and stupidity among religious people as you will find among atheists. You can definitely be trans and a believer at the same time!

    “It has been proven that it is impossible for an omnipotent being to have created the universe.” No, it hasn’t. You cannot prove something like this, as the creation of the universe itself precedes the laws of nature and the limited logic of men.

    You cannot prove that God did create the universe, either, but you can experience the meaning and the connectedness of all things, expressed as love and compassion. That is what makes me a religious person.

  • Hi Jack,
    Thanks for taking the time to write. Not to worry. I always (mostly) take responsibility for how I feel about things. Nobody did anything to me. I chose to leave.

    Felix makes a really good point. I let CDL mean something to me and that was a mistake (my words not his).
    Everything you say makes sense to me.
    I remember when I thought I was going to be a minister “back in the day”. I realized soon that I couldn’t function within organized religion. Want to corrupt anything? Get people to organize something connected to a meta-narrative, politics, gender, sexual orientation…
    My experience at CDL was a reminder of how, as much as I didn’t belong in organized religion, I also don’t belong within the trans community en large. I have opinions that just won’t fit in.
    So we just all aren’t really on the same team. Beyond the gender question we are just the same bunch of ignorant a-holes fiddle-f*cking our way through life.
    I could never get it across to Church elders that we owed it to the vulnerable people who walk through the door with questions to make sure we stay humble and don’t invalidate others. The truth surely extends beyond the usual church myopia.
    Please don’t read between the lines. I don’t care if people think believing is for morons…certainly looks that way to me when I pull back and look at the big picture. In much the same way, I hardly begrudge an “outsider” from not getting the whole transgender thing. From afar this looks delusional and selfish.
    I was more concerned that a vulnerable person may come to CDL and do a 180 when they feel they don’t belong for faith reasons.
    In my opinion there are a couple of personalities that cast a big shadow over CDL. I even had one chase me here to give me a bible lesson and tell me how “I was looking for someone to blame.” Brutal. Thanks for validating my point(s). I refused to allow the post but it should be considered that I mean exactly what I wrote. Every word. No subtext, no fine print…nothing between the lines.

    Like I said to Felix. I love CDL but I am making the same decision I’d make in real life if stuck out socially with people who I find passive aggressive and all-too-knowing. I’d simply refuse to socialize with them.

    One thing I will definitely own. I think about suicide…all the time. Everything I have said is colored by this. GD is life and death to me. Tread lightly….

    Thanks again Jack.

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